Stephen Merchant Enters Charles Nelson Reilly Phase

BREAKING NEWS: Stephen Merchant, long time comedy partner of Ricky Gervais, is using the occasion of a new series of The Ricky Gervais Show to begin what he is calling his "Charles Nelson Reilly Phase". The first hints of which can be seen in this photo, being used in advance promotion for Series 4.



According to Mr. Merchant's publicist, as the leaves of summer drift from green to shades of red and gold, so too will Merchant's look drift more towards that of the popular Match Game PM panelist, Reilly. Merchant's hat will slide more to the right (his right, not ours) until it gracefully drops to the ground. The eyeglasses will become larger and more square, and the ascot will become more pronounced. When asked if his gangly height would detract from the look, Merchant mumbled something about Dumb Donald and Brett Somers before ducking into a broom closet.

More details to come.

I have a big "but" problem

No amount of exercise is going to fix this.

In reading through the previous days work in order to launch into the new material, I found that I had been unable to get through a single paragraph without at least one "but" sentence. The stinkiest weed was one paragraph consisting of three sentences constructed as "here's one point, but here's the counterpoint." Blech!

I recently read a query critique where the agent said something along the lines of "was there a big box of 'so', 'but', and 'however' on sale?". It stings a little to discover I'm less creative than that. At least the query person had some chocolate and strawberry to go along with their vanilla.

I suppose it was a crutch I was unaware I relied on so heavily. Being aware has improved my subsequent writing, and now every "but"-constructed sentence screams out at me from the page as if it were written in red.

I make it a point not to revise the WIP until the first draft is complete, and I'm sticking to it. There may be a yellow legal pad somewhere in my office that has "Revision List" scribbled at the top and "fix yer buts" scrawled below it, but that's not really the same is it?

Dammit! I did it again.

Word of the Weekend

Quell

They quelled potential lawsuits both outside and inside of the department with an equal amount of skill, but an unequal amount of patience.

1. to suppress; put an end to; extinguish.
2. to vanquish; subdue.
3. to quiet or allay (emotions, anxieties, etc.).

Racking Up Points

It's been vacation week for the Devers Family. I came back from it a little early, due in large part to the Relentless Pursuit of Futility (see below). As one of the editors, the wife understands and that's what really matters.

Speaking of my bride, here is what I've seen of her all week:



You'll notice a large body of water in the background (locals call it "Gulf of Mexico"). We were in Port Aransas at the beach for the first half of the week. I'm not a beach guy. Or a mountain guy. I grew up in Enid, Oklahoma, so I prefer a nice, flat plain. If wheat blows softly in the wind, all the better.

The bride has been trying to talk me into taking a family vacation to the beach for years and I finally relented. I have to admit (but don't tell her), I liked it. I even made some progress on the WIP. I would not be opposed to going back in a couple of years, if we can stay in the same place. And as long as there's a Vegas trip between the two.

My wife concludes the vacation tomorrow with the little Devers at our local water park, which means she'll be exposed to some serious pockets of humanity. She goes forewarned.

The Relentless Pursuit of Futility

Didn't we just put out an issue?

Deadlines for the next issue of the magazine loom already. They are flippin' relentless. And when the next issue is complete, we have two sets of even tighter deadlines to close out the year. But why panic about that now, when I can panic about the Aug/Sep issue?

I'm looking forward to the Feb/Mar '09 issue. I feel pretty good about my chances of hitting that deadline. For now.

Word of the Weekend

Churlish

His churlish behavior made life difficult for the ladies of Human Resources.

Update

Today happened. Rumor has it that Monday has been scheduled with very little chance of cancellation. Either way, I’m not getting dressed up.

Raising A Reader

This is my son's favorite place to read a book. When we're not home and he wants to read he searches for a box he can use as a substitute. Might be a little more difficult for him at 30, but I don't judge. As long as he reads.

I did an informal survey of some of the staff here earlier this week. I asked them when was the last time they went to a store and bought a book to read for enjoyment, not for class (a lot of college students work here). Here are the three answers:

1. "Last week. I didn't go to a store, but I ordered two books on line."

2. "January or February. I got some books about the music industry."

3. "Oh my God, never! I hate reading."

Those answers are in descending order by age. I'm a little frightened.

Pick One

I spent today staring at my computer and my calendar trying to decide which of 100 small fires I should put out first. Not very productive. Late this afternoon I decided to start with the one burning in the closest proximity. After dousing my right arm in water I moved on to fire #2.

I've been working on the railroad...

We're already making great progress on the next issue of the magazine, and on Wednesday a meeting is scheduled to check progress and compare notes on our special year-end issue. There's one issue between those two, but I'm sure that one will print itself.

Last week I had the opportunity to interview Heather Morgan. She grew up in Texas and did the singer-songwriter thing here before moving to Nashville to pursue songwriting full time. She's in the last year of a multi-year deal with Warner-Chappell and has hit her groove, starting to score lots of cuts.

The plan is to format the story in Q&A style and try to capture the good side of Nashville. Folks here in Texas are fond of running down the Nashville machine (and vice-versa, to be honest). I look forward to exposing the good side of Music City.

The fact that the interview serves a dual purpose - interview for the magazine and research for the WIP - is pure gravy.

A Good Day

I felt very "writeresque" yesterday. I received more positive comments than I could have expected from my first CP along with two good suggestions. I skimped on the character description, and she noticed. She also caught a ham-handed line that was easily corrected.

I started back to work on my WIP yesterday and had the best day that I've had in a while on that. The story has picked up some steam and I'm anxious to get each new scene rolling.

Before starting on my WIP, I spent a good deal of time on the outline, character arcs, timelines, and miscellaneous notes. Since finishing the first handful of pages, I've rarely had to go back and reference any of that again. The process of organizing all of the information on paper seems to have had the side benefit of organizing it all in my head as well. All the same, I'm glad there's a paper copy. The data storage facility inside my skull has an erratic track record.

Revision Complete

The first revision of my short story is complete and in the hands of my primary CP. It took a little longer than I would have thought for less than 8,000 words.

I was amazed at the big stuff (two paragraphs condensed into one and re-written in a way that conveyed more information) and the little stuff (several spots where I "thought" a word, but forgot to type it).

It was a nice break away from the WIP novel. As soon as I handed the revised draft off, the characters from the WIP started shouting their ideas at me. Some of them were helpful, but one character is not happy at all with the way she's being portrayed. I'll be sure to include what a whiny baby she is in an upcoming chapter. She'll dig that.

More Revision Day

I'm still working on the second pass through. One section required triage. It was upgraded from revision to re-write. I wanted to reinforce the theme that emerged from the story.

The revised product won't be ready for my critique peoples as soon as I wanted, but that's okay if I'm handing them a stronger story to begin with. Right? Anyone?

Fine. Time to go to my happy place.

Revision Day!

For the most part, I read and follow instructions. So when Professor King told me to put my finished story in a drawer, set a reminder for six weeks, and not think about it again; I did as instructed.

Yesterday my timer dinged on the short story I finished six weeks ago. I started my revisions last night. I did one read through for general purposes ("why did I use that word?", "that sentence is a word salad", "a whole paragraph of pronouns - yuck!", etc.) and then I started a read through with the intent of removing each and every word that wasn't absolutely vital. I hope to finish that tonight.

My next read through will be to look for five little words that sprout like dandelions in my writing. I'm going to mow those pernicious parasites down. (Maybe I should look for clumsy alliterations after that. Nah, not necessarily needed)

How to publish a magazine

#1. Acquire an existing publication.

#2. Put out the next issue.

#3. Learn from your many, many mistakes.

#4. Have something of little value close by to destroy when #3 happens.

#5. Go back to #2 and repeat.

Monthly words

9,000 words in my first month of work on the novel WIP. Ugh. I need to pick up the pace. I'm sure I'll write much faster now that summer is here. Something else that would help is if TNT would cut down on the Law & Order marathons. Damn Briscoe & Green (and Logan and Fontana and Lupo). Not Curtis so much though. I can skip those episodes.