Devers Writes

Thanks again, Ricky Gervais

2009-12-24T11:16:00.003-06:00

Ricky was voted television's face of the decade by the Times and he again posted the desktop I created of his photogenic side.

Thumbnail is below, but here is a link to the original post I created, including links to download the desktop for your friends and families enjoyment.

And if you found your way here, I'm now over there.

9@9 - November 10th, 2009

2009-11-10T09:43:00.003-06:00

I rarely do this two days in a row, but yesterday was so much fun...

[9:05:37 AM] MWD: A late start to the 9@9 today.

[9:05:53 AM] MWD: Here's hoping it's because they put more work into it this time.

[9:06:00 AM] MWD: The year - 1981.

[9:06:07 AM] MWD: right on the edge

[9:06:22 AM] MWD: #9: April Wine - "Just Between You and Me"

[9:06:42 AM] MWD: I shouldn't like that lead guitar tone, but I do.

[9:09:40 AM] MWD: #8: I told you yesterday that she was raging with jealousy.

[9:09:59 AM] MWD: Kim Carnes - "Bette Davis Eyes"

[9:10:16 AM] MWD: Here today to claim her spot and kick Bonnie Tyler's ass

[9:13:16 AM] MWD: #7: 38 Special - "Hold On Loosely"

[9:13:46 AM] MWD: I don't know how most bands are able to deal with 1 drummer.

[9:13:50 AM] MWD: These guys had 2.

[9:14:10 AM] MWD: I still have no idea why.

[9:15:05 AM] Shane Jones: let me know when they play the gap band

[9:15:32 AM] MWD: If they don't, do you want me to tip over your desk for you?

[9:15:40 AM] Shane Jones: please

[9:15:54 AM] MWD: stay tuned

[9:17:54 AM] MWD: #6: Kenny Rogers - "I Don't Need You"

[9:18:10 AM] MWD: They pulled this one off the scrap heap.

[9:18:28 AM] MWD: When I hear this song I think, "Stick to the chicken, Kenny."

[9:21:07 AM] MWD: #5: Rush - "Limelight"

[9:21:33 AM] MWD: BobFM is throwing quite a challenge at their casual listeners with those 2 back-to-back.

[9:21:45 AM] MWD: Hat tip for that!

[9:26:00 AM] MWD: #4: Steve Winwood - "While You See A Chance"

[9:26:13 AM] MWD: Against my better judgement, I like this song.

[9:26:46 AM] MWD: I forgive him for still dressing like a character on Miami Vice.

[9:29:32 AM] MWD: #3: Pat Benatar - "Treat Me Right"

[9:30:15 AM] MWD: Everyone knows that "Video Killed the Radio Star" was the first video ever aired by MTV.

[9:30:23 AM] MWD: Know what the second video was?

[9:31:04 AM] MWD: Pat Benatar - "You Better Run"

[9:32:14 AM] MWD: #2: Blondie - "The Tide is High"
[9:32:42 AM] Shane Jones: bob, 1981 music choice sucks
[9:32:54 AM] MWD: Middle of the Road
[9:33:10 AM] MWD: the choices - not campaigning for the Pretenders
[9:33:45 AM] MWD: BTW - Debbie Harry *is* that kind of girl.

[9:35:52 AM] MWD: and #1 on this day in 1981...
[9:36:05 AM] MWD: Hall & Oates - "Private Eyes"
[9:36:20 AM] MWD: the song that got them kicked straight out of Philly.
[9:39:19 AM] MWD: Hall & Oates were on the Rachael Ray show yesterday.
[9:39:33 AM] MWD: Damn. I missed it. Now I'll have to kill myself.
[9:40:13 AM] MWD: Forgive me for that last comment. I rarely say anything so EMO.

[9:41:39 AM] MWD: Ugh. 0 for 2 start to the week. C'mon, Bob. Get your head in the game!

[9:41:15 AM] MWD: Post game report:
[9:41:34 AM] MWD: The first song that BobFM played after the 9@9?
[9:41:50 AM] MWD: April Wine - "Just Between You and Me"
[9:41:55 AM] MWD: WTF, Bob?

the 9@9 running commentary

2009-11-09T09:37:00.010-06:00

At my day job, we use Skype for communication. A lot. Every once in a while, mostly to entertain myself, I'll post a running commentary of BobFM's 9@9. This morning I thought to myself, why create all of this marginal content just for my co-workers, when I can post it on my blog and, with any luck, amuse tens of others.

So here's BobFM's 9@9 for November 9th, 2009 along with my running commentary.

[9:02:53 AM] MWD: You guys ready for the 9@9 play-by-play?

[9:03:07 AM] MWD: Crap year - 1984. Gee, wonder if we'll hear any Van Halen?

[9:03:32 AM] MWD: Okay, here we go...

[9:03:48 AM] MWD: #9: Madonna - Borderline

[9:04:06 AM] MWD: Raise your hand if you shelled out the $50 for her Sex book.

[9:04:41 AM] MWD: The publisher put only two restrictions on her:

[9:04:48 AM] MWD: 1. No beastiality

[9:05:04 AM] MWD: 2. She could not insert a religious symbol into herself.

[9:05:46 AM] MWD: Some high standards they set for her.

[9:07:08 AM] MWD: This really is going to be a puke-fest.

[9:07:26 AM] MWD: #8: the Thompson Twins - "Hold Me Now"

[9:07:31 AM] MWD: (speechless)

[9:11:07 AM] MWD: #7: Dan Hartman - "I Can Dream About You"

[9:11:26 AM] MWD: Was this one of those Soap Opera/Rock Star guys?

[9:11:31 AM] MWD: Does anyone care?

[9:14:12 AM] MWD: Didn't know this - Dan Hartman was the bass player in the Edgar Winter Group and was the songwriter of "Free Ride"

[9:14:37 AM] MWD: #6 - I guessed correctly, but "one too early"

[9:14:53 AM] MWD: Rick Springfield - "Love Somebody"

[9:18:37 AM] MWD: #5: the Romantics - "Talking In Your Sleep"

[9:18:47 AM] MWD: Every cover band's dream.

[9:18:56 AM] MWD: Can the Stray Cats be far behind?

[9:22:01 AM] MWD: #4: Bonnie Tyler - "Holding Out For A Hero"

[9:22:13 AM] MWD: For those of you that thought she was a one-hit wonder.

[9:22:24 AM] MWD: The even rarer "two-hit wonder"

[9:22:38 AM] MWD: Kim Carnes is raging with jealousy.

[9:24:55 AM] MWD: Wow - this song has the most unnecessary drum solo ever.

[9:27:25 AM] MWD: #3: Phil Collins - "Against All Odds"

[9:27:47 AM] MWD: Perhaps the most maudlin song of his career. Which is really saying something.

[9:31:35 AM] MWD: #2: Laura Branigan - "Self Control"

[9:31:58 AM] MWD: I'm sensing a theme here.

[9:32:13 AM] MWD: Artists "other hits"

[9:32:53 AM] MWD: No Jessie's Girl, no Total Eclipse, no Gloria

[9:33:39 AM] MWD: BTW - If I don't hear Van Halen at number one, I'm going to lose it.

[9:34:35 AM] MWD: Last tune

[9:34:47 AM] MWD: #1 on this day in 1984...

[9:34:57 AM] MWD: And quite the capper to this load of crap

[9:35:16 AM] MWD: Billy Ocean - "Caribbean Queen"

[9:35:57 AM] MWD: No Van Halen.

[9:36:07 AM] MWD: I have tipped over Shane's desk in protest.

[9:36:43 AM] MWD: Not a good start to the week. BobFM has a case of the Mondays.

I review the reviewer

2009-11-08T09:30:00.007-06:00

While browsing through last week's edition of the New Yorker online, I stumbled across a book review of two recent biographies of Ayn Rand. The reviewer tipped his hand early when he referred to Rand as a "crackpot" and compared her literary worth to L. Ron Hubbard. Maybe the title of the review should have given me a hint as to what lay ahead: "The cult of Ayn Rand".

Reading through the rest of the review revealed that this was a mere warmup. Thomas Mallon later refers to Rand as "the most totalitarian novelist ever to sit down at a desk" (I immediately thought to myself Mallon must be the most hyperbolic book reviewer ever in the history of the entire universe), and while acknowledging that her books "sold well", he refers to her success as a "crankish fame".

Reading the review, I began to feel sorry for Rand and her hollow notoriety. It's too bad she never wrote anything of significance. Something like a memoir of Dan Quayle, for example.

This is not Mallon's first attempt at tackling revered books. He's become a prolific polemic reviewer of books, having launched a firestorm with his dismissal of Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird. One begins to wonder if Mr. Mallon has a thing for female writers of note. Which I personally find interesting as Mallon continues his journey to becoming the Ann Coulter of book reviews.

Nice job, NewYorker. I guess you weren't going for objectivity. It's too late now, but in the same spirit you know who would have done a bang-up job on Bill Clinton's biography? Mallon's buddy, Dick Cheney. Maybe next time.

I claim to be good at math

2009-10-29T11:29:00.004-05:00

I've always wondered why I'll occasionally buy a lottery ticket. I know the odds are greater than someone randomly drawing my name out of a telephone book containing every phone number in Texas, yet there goes another $3.

Seth Godin sums it up nicely and succinctly on his blog. Give it a read.

Copy Cat

2009-10-26T14:33:00.003-05:00

It's been raining non-stop here in New Braunfels, but it's still been a Lovely Day.

I'm placing the big weekly order for our store today and along with all of the Texas and Americana music, I'm also getting a little something for myself.

Here's one of the songs on it.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me

2009-10-22T09:42:00.012-05:00

Ricky Gervais posted a new pic on his blog recently. It is a work of art. I'd like to share it with you now.

My bride didn't share my viewpoint on it's artistic merits ("It's too early in the morning for that"), but she didn't stick around to hear my justification. Lucky you.

Lately, Ricky has been posting a link to a song or video on YouTube at the end of every blog post. I've been following most of them and while the versions he has chosen seem to have a similar theme, one that struck me particularly was Bruce Springsteen's live performance of "Thunder Road" from 1975. It's Bruce before the SuperBowl halftime show, pre "Born In The USA", before he was "THE BOSS", and it was a great reminder of Bruce Springsteen the artist. Someone I haven't seen in a while. It's been Bruce Springsteen the brand for too long. In the live version Ricky linked to, it seemed that Springsteen's only concern was putting the song across as best as possible and not about the light show, or confetti cannons, or playing the role of BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.

I recognize that in the case of Bruce Springsteen in particular, I may have the minority position (but I offer this contrasting performance from 2002 as my evidence). Regardless, it (and many of Ricky's other music links) got me to thinking about the great artists who begin to take themselves too seriously and become more focused on maintaining their legend. For example, I remember when U2 was a rock band that didn't use bar chords instead of an international brand affiliation to help mega-corporations sell their latest electronic gadget.

We have a few like that even in the little niche of a niche I currently work in - the Texas Music scene. I have been privately critical of Robert Earl Keen for a few years now, thinking he has been too busy playing the role of TEXAS LEGEND ROBERT EARL KEEN to bother with writing songs. In the last six years he has put out two different greatest hits records, two different live records and DVDs, and released two different books, both with titles of songs that appear on both greatest hits records. However, he just put out a record of all new songs (some good ones at that) for the first time in almost five years so I'm encouraged that he's back to writing again.

All of this naturally led to me wondering about Ricky and whether or not the day would come when he would make a television appearance and feel compelled to do his "greatest hits" (here's where I do the dance, here's where I talk about popping off into the sink, etc.). The picture was a good reminder that of all of the great artists working today, no one takes themselves less seriously than Ricky Gervais.

All of this in explanation of why I think the picture above makes for great art. I look forward to each new self-portrait with great anticipation. Thanks, Ricky.

Anguished English

2009-10-08T17:53:00.003-05:00

Brilliant question I was asked by an AT&T rep while calling about voice mail problems:

"Are you on the phone with me sir?"

Quote

2009-08-26T10:07:00.001-05:00

"Two Excedrins is not going to make this day suck any less."

~ Clair Devers

Hicks and Gervais

2009-08-17T12:52:00.003-05:00

Quick Bill Hicks reference at the start of a sketch Ricky Gervais and Stephen F. Merchant (I don't know what his real middle initial is, but I like "F") filmed for the Guardian.

Muse

2009-08-17T08:05:00.004-05:00

I got a good look at my muse today.

He’s shorter than me and much thinner. He has wings, but they are molting and in some spots they’re singed. He wears a hat that looks like a cross between a fedora and that weird little cap that Robin Hood wears. He smokes hand-rolled cigarettes. There’s a small leather pouch he keeps fastened to his belt, and when I caught a glimpse of him he shot me an evil grin and patted it softly. Scares the hell out of me.

I believe that people who want to write, but don’t, have a fairy-tale image of the writing process. They believe a writer sits down to begin work and a rainbow appears over their shoulder and they are washed in soft light descending from the heavens as the sentences and paragraphs flow fully formed into their brain and all that is left is their inspired transcription. In the middle of the afternoon other writer friends drop by and they all enjoy high tea while brilliantly discussing each others work. They use words like “transcendent” and “exhilarating”. Just lovely.

The truth for me is that writing is mostly lonely, and, when done correctly, an excruciating process that robs a little bit from you for every good sentence you manage to eek out. You have to give up just a little bit of yourself to make it work. When I explain this to my friends whom would “love to write”, they look at me as if I were someone standing alone in a parking lot clutching a brown paper bag that was leaking something.

“Maybe you’re doing it wrong. Why would you choose to do something that sounds so miserable? I thought you loved to write?“

Exactly.

It’s at this point that they slowly back away from me. As if they were afraid whatever it is that’s leaking from my paper bag might get on their shoes.

I know what’s in that little leather pouch of his. It looks small, but it holds a lot. Kind of like Mary Poppins bag, if Mary Poppins had been a sick twisted bitch. He has medical tubing, all kinds of vials, some tobacco, some wooden matches, and lots and lots of syringes and needles. All kinds of needles. Long ones, short ones, thick ones. “These is all of my little angels,” he sings to me. “They help me do the best parts of my work for you.”

There are times when I cheat. I toss something off without digging very deep and that’s it. The muse doesn’t come near me. Not so much as a pin prick.

But there are other times. Times when I go below the surface and so does he. I manage to mine something that is difficult to extract and he’s right there with a vein tied off and the needle plunged deep into my skin, sometimes through the bone and right into the marrow. Those are the good times and the sadistic little imp knows it. He revels in it.

I don’t know what he does with those vials after he fills them. Maybe he’s saving them for later on in my life when I’ll need it back, but probably he sneaks off in the middle of the night to the edge of town and dumps the contents into a drainage ditch. It doesn’t matter to me. Whatever is in those vials belongs to him now.

I wonder what it would be like if it were easier. If I could reach below the surface without the struggle, without the sacrifice. I don’t think it’s possible, and even if it were, I couldn’t do it. What would become of my nasty little muse and his finely honed skills? It’s not like a greeting card writer is going to give him a job.

It's shaped like a circle

2009-08-14T10:37:00.001-05:00

The problem with self-deprecating irony is when other people get it, but you don't.

Who's Cody?

2009-08-13T20:55:00.005-05:00

Cross Canadian Ragweed has a new album arriving on September 1st. I'll be interviewing Cody Canada sometime next week for the next issue of our magazine. It's not supposed to be feature-length, but I'm going to try like hell to get it to 5,000 words anyway.

All of this has been in the planning stages for a few weeks. In our scene, Ragweed is kind of a big deal. They are the LoneStarMusic Artist of the Month for August online and we published the longest review we've ever done on an album in the brand new issue of the mag.

All of this we did on our own. We didn't need some $250/hour publicist to clue us in that the release was significant in our area.

However...

We received a call at the store earlier this week from a publicity firm in New York City. They wanted to let us know that there was a new Cross Canadian Ragweed album coming out (thanks for the breaking news) and wanted to know if we would be able to promote the record at all. Mind you, the band was splashed all over the front page of our website at the time of the call. But wait, it gets better.

Kris, our store manager who answered the call, told the guy, "I know we're doing lots of stuff with the record. They're all friends with Cody so they've got it covered." To which he responded:

"Who's Cody?"

Playing the game, whatever the cost

2009-08-11T09:49:00.008-05:00

There's an artist in our scene that I admire in some ways and am completely baffled by in other ways. He's been a big supporter of our company for a long time, basically since day one. But he makes choices that leave me searching for words.

First it was being a judge on the Next GAC Star or some show like that.

Then it was a special version of his record for Nike, where he talked about running either in-between or on top of his songs (I never picked up a copy so I have no idea how it turned out).

And I almost forgot, his slightly controversial but ultimately forgettable (obviously) cover of Hinder's "Lips of an Angel" while the Hinder version was still on the charts. (Why did I think I heard Pat Boone singing bg vocals on the cut?)

The latest, to promote his record release on August 25th I presume, is a guest appearance on the Lifetime original series, Army Wives. You can check out the preview here, and if you're reading this after the episode airs, that same link will allow you to view the whole episode (if you have the stomach for it).

I understand that is he wants to play "in the majors", these are the kinds of things he has to do, but it's all too reminiscent of some satire that I found very funny and, as it turns out, right on the money.

To start my week on the right foot

2009-08-09T15:51:00.005-05:00

"When I write, I feel like an armless legless man with a crayon in his mouth."

~ Kurt Vonnegut

Twitter, Facebook, & MySpace Unplugged

2009-08-09T11:20:00.007-05:00

No, it's not a reality tv pitch.

I have deleted my accounts at all of the above. I have unplugged myself from the mass interconnectivity of modern online life. No more tweets, status updates, or bulletins for me. I quit. Fini. It's all Bubbles in the Wine to me now.

My wife was annoyed. ("I've gone from 'Married to Michael Devers' to just 'married'. Thanks a lot." As if I had filed some kind of legal proceeding.)

My friends who speak to me in the real world were baffled:

"What's wrong with you?"

"Did something happen?"

"Don't forget your aluminum hat, freak!"

For those who need to understand, there was no major event, no great epiphany. It was a gradual build up of small annoyances that led to the question, "What am I really getting out of trying to keep up with all of this and what else could I be doing with the time?" I deleted my accounts about .2 seconds after that.

I will be keeping this mostly anonymous blog as a tiny online island. Though the idea isn't wholly mine, it works for me. Of course, I've now set myself up to have no excuse in keeping this blog updated regularly. Annoying.

Where's the delete button on this thing?

The efficiency of the U.S. Mail

2009-08-05T10:56:00.007-05:00

We have a couple of really nice trees behind our store in New Braunfels, TX. Lately, with every day being well over 100 degrees, I have been parking under one of them to keep my vehicle in the shade during the afternoon. I'm not the only one.

Every day, at some point between 1 and 2pm, a mail truck is also parked under the tree, usually directly across from my car. The driver sits in the truck for close to two hours - sometimes napping, sometimes reading a book. Either way, enjoying the shade on a hot summer day in South Texas.

It's most curious to myself and our shipping clerk as we have to pull teeth and get a written permission slip from Obama to get a carrier to pick up our packages on a daily basis. We had a guy for a while who was unbelievably good, "Dan the Man". They moved him from our area when they gave him a bigger route.

We have another guy, Steven, who does really well by us also. He picks up whenever he can, but he only rarely handles our area any more. He has also been given more responsibility. In other words, if Steven doesn't come, no one does. Why? According to the local post office, they are understaffed and "it's a miracle they can even deliver the mail with the resources they are given."

Which brings us to our daily reader out back. We're not exactly shy so we asked him (and a few other carriers) about it. Apparently, it's a postal tradition. If you finish your route early enough and come back to the post office they will give you more work. If you do it enough days in a row, they will give you more work permanently. According to the carriers, this is to be avoided at all cost. Thus the postal carrier has adopted the siesta as a tradition of their own.

I thought about all of this as I read a story today in the Wall Street Journal, Postal Service Delivers More Red Ink. From the story:

"The recession has been brutal," Postal Service Chief Financial Officer Joe Corbett said at public meeting of the postal service board of governors.

Not only has the recession been brutal, but so has the heat. Just drop by our store between one and three pm and ask the guy parked under the tree.

Waco, TX

2009-07-31T14:34:00.006-05:00

A friend of mine just returned from an overnight trip to Waco. Here is her list of things to do should you also find yourself in Waco for an evening:

1. Drink an entire bottle of whiskey.

2. Pass out in your motel room.

She did them in order.

Observation

2009-07-28T09:58:00.002-05:00

Going the "ironically funny" route is a tough way for a comedian to make a living.

To Drive and Live in thr 21st Century

2009-07-24T23:08:00.004-05:00

When I find myself stuck behind someone driving like they have their head up their ass, I assume they are talking on a cell-phone. I'm only right 90% of the time. The other 10% of people have their head stuck up their ass in some other way.

466 journalists (at last count) agree with my basic premise.

(Sorry for any typos. I posted this while I was driving)

It was sheer joy, I tell ya'

2009-07-16T23:41:00.002-05:00

Finished a 5,000 word story on Charlie Robison for the next issue. I would love to write another 5,000 words with a different angle, but that's going to have to wait for another year. If you see me at a party trying to make small talk with a potted plant, hit me up about it.

Review of Amazon.com

2009-06-08T10:01:00.001-05:00

Worst.

Customer Service.

Ever.

I think the only employee who speaks english as a first language is Jeff Bezos.

Revisions Part II

2009-01-28T12:05:00.005-06:00

What a lovely gift I received in my inbox today. A great example of a press release that could have used another three or four revision passes. I hate to pick on Fanboys, but they're a victim of their own unfortunate timing:

Interviews are available on Beta and DVD format for the following:
Kristen Bell (by herself)
Kyle Newman (Director) (by himself)
Sam Huntington/Dan Fogler/Chris Marquette (group interview)

In addition roundtable interviews for radio/print outlets are available as well.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE ANY OF THESE MATIERALS. We also have posters available as well.
PLEASE EMAIL ME AT {redacted}

Revisions

2009-01-27T15:04:00.005-06:00

The bride and I are working on a press release today. It's on its fourth revision and is just now starting to come together. We started off with two full pages and part of the process has been trimming the fat to get down to one page. I know I've seen a lot of two page press releases, but I can't recall many (or even one, to be honest) successful multi-page press releases.

She just handed me another sheet, so it's revision five now. Very close.

In case you're lost in the shroud of my subtlety - revisions are very important in writing.

Unless you're writing a blog, of curse.

Writing advice from my iPod

2009-01-26T16:08:00.003-06:00

"I got a story ain't got no morals, let the bad guy win every once in a while."

~ Billy Preston, "Will It Go Round In Circles"

Ricky Gervais Desktop

2009-01-23T13:49:00.006-06:00

Ricky Gervais has become an inspiration to me. It's not the rags-to-riches story, or the excellence of his writing and comedy. He has inspired me in terms of photography, specifically portrait photography.

To honor his photographic (and photogenic) genius, I have created the Ricky Gervais Desktop. Be sure to share it. After loading it on your own desktop, load it on your mate's desktop, or perhaps one of your colleague's computers at work, whenever they step away from their desk for a minute or two. Imagine their surprise and appreciation when they sit back down and discover you've given them the Ricky Gervais Desktop!

1. Click the download button below that matches your screen resolution.
2. A new window will open with the wallpaper image.
3. Right click on the wallpaper image and select 'Set as Wallpaper' or 'Set as background'.

Click here to download the 1024x768 Ricky Gervais Desktop.

Click here to download the 800x600 Ricky Gervais Desktop.

It's no Bwana Devil

2009-01-22T09:05:00.002-06:00

I noticed an item today on CNN's homepage, "See Obama's first oath in 3D". You would think the part to catch my eye would be "first oath", but no. It was "in 3D".

Seriously? 3D on my computer? No glasses? clickety-click-click-click.

I had to install Microsoft's SilverLight. Something that Redmond has been trying to trick me into installing for months and now they had a good enough carrot.

It was a quick download and install and one click later I would be viewing glorious 3D on my desktop. Here's my quick review:

Meh.

You can achieve the safe effect at home. "See the family vacation in 3D on your coffee table!" All you need to do is get all of the photos you took of say..... the monkey pit from the zoo trip, and spread them out on your coffee table. Voila! You are now experiencing 3D as envisioned by Microsoft.

What miracle technology will they come up with next? I predict a device that you can wear that tells you the time and weather via FM radio and only needs recharged daily!

Moss, man

2009-01-21T16:52:00.010-06:00

I took this picture today while at an associates house fixing her computer. Her husband lived in the house for close to a decade before they were married, so the basketball goal is his. As you can tell from the picture, he either hasn't used it in quite a while or he's an awful, terrible shot. I snapped the photo to remind myself that moss grows and covers that which is unused.

of Scorpions and Frogs and Ryan Adams

2009-01-17T16:49:00.001-06:00

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

"I couldn't help myself. It's just my nature."

Also, Ryan Adams announced he is quitting music.

...and the pants were sardonic.

2009-01-15T08:53:00.007-06:00

The Bride and I had a chance to attend the Gourds show at Gruene Hall on Saturday night. It was a great performance by the band - they filled my happy tank to the top. While there, we ran into a couple we are friends with and I mentioned to Ethan how I liked his Kenny Rogers t-shirt. He went on about it a little, so I asked him what he thought of my Waylon Jennings tee.

"Waylon Jennings is pretty cool, but I'm wearing my t-shirt ironically."

Ironically? Really? I didn't know clothes could do that. I didn't give up my Garanimals tags without a fight and now I have to worry about the subtext of my clothes?

I saw the Kenny Rogers tee on the rack before Christmas - at Wal-Mart for eight bucks. Does the fact that he's wearing a mass-produced tee only costing $8 increase the irony or does it make his intended statement ironic itself? I can only pose these questions as I'm not fashion-forward enough to answer them.

Then last night a friend of mine wore a tuxedo t-shirt during his band's appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman. "What was he thinking?" was my initial reaction, but then Ethan's voice whispered in my brain, "Dude, he's wearing it ironically".

I wonder if Dave knew.

New Word Wednesday

2009-01-14T14:10:00.006-06:00

As far as blog posts go, this is pretty weak. It's a glorified link, really, but I got so much out of the original post at Daily Writing Tips I felt obligated to share it.

Genericide - the death of a trademark word through common, generic use by the general public

The post contains good information regarding the use of words on the verge of genericide, and, as always, you can Google "genericide" for even more information.

Victoria Loves My Bride

2009-01-13T09:00:00.004-06:00

We first noticed it a little before Christmas. The regular email turned into a steady stream and as the 25th approached it became a deluge. Victoria's Secret bombarded my wife's email box with special offers, sales, and new items multiple times a day.

Permission-marketing guru Seth Godin teaches a very good lesson about this in his book..... I think it's in all of them, actually. I have to assume the marketing department at Victoria's Secret does not subscribe to the School of Godin.

Though she loves their products, eventually she grew weary of the constant emails. The camel-straw arrived one day as she was perusing a sweater sale on the website from an email she had received, and before she finished browsing another email from VS arrived. She was going to unsubscribe, but learned Victoria's Secret has email settings for their subscribers. She changed her preference from "Spam-A-Lot" to "Sunday driver" and she now gets one email a week.

And then it got bad.

Like a stalker who starts coming around the house once you get an unlisted phone number, Victoria's Secret catalogs began showing up in our mailbox. Every. Single. Day. I like a Vickie S. catalog as much as the next guy, but every day? Who (over the age of 16) can keep up with that pace?

Here's the most up to date sampling, for anyone thinking I might be stretching the truth. The one on the left arrived last Friday, the middle one arrived on Saturday, and the one on the right showed up on Monday. My wife and I were relieved when the mailbox remained empty on Sunday.

I don't know how VS is doing financially, but they're putting quite an investment in my wife, one I doubt they'll be able to recoup. Those catalogs are all full color and I imagine it costs them more than a Jefferson nickel to print them, much less mail them.

She used to thumb through the catalogs from cover-to-cover, but now - it's too much. They go straight in the trash. In this case, into my blog, and then straight into the trash.

Today (Tuesday) is junk mail day. We'll probably get two.

Thatectomy

2009-01-12T16:31:00.004-06:00

A hearty round of edits on my latest writing project uncovered a new word for my Dead Word Wall. The funeral for "that" commences at 10am tomorrow. His surviving family ("this" and "other") have asked for donations to wikipedia.org in lieu of flowers.

Once again, I cry for help

2009-01-09T14:46:00.004-06:00

I realized while writing today that the English language is missing a word. More than one actually, but for right now there's a particular one I'm focused on.

The word I'm looking for would mean "ultimately correct", as in, you could not possibly be more right about something; more pure than Ivory soap in your accuracy.

Make your suggestions in the comments. The winner will receive a dictionary autographed by Todd Snider. He's never at a loss for words.

How To Survive the Economic Crisis

2009-01-07T12:51:00.002-06:00

According to Oxford University, playing Tetris immediately after a traumatic event helps the brain block the storage of painful memories and significally reduces flashbacks in the weeks following the traumatic event.

So keep a copy of Tetris handy, and on every day that the Dow drops more than 100 points, take a 30 minute dose of Tetris and call your broker in the morning.

Welcome 2009!

2009-01-01T12:30:00.010-06:00

The first day of a new year. Feels fresh. Feels exciting. Feels about 15 pounds heavier than the first day of 2008.

As with all January 1st posts, as regulated by the Blogger By-laws, here are my New Year's resolutions. I always pick three, because... well, you know.

1. Lose weight/get healthier
2. Take complete control of our family's financial situation
3. Write more

Number one was well under way, and then my bride made blueberry muffins for breakfast. But tomorrow, I'll start. Really. I even downloaded an app for my iPhone to make it apparent in pretty flashing lights and graphics how I'm progressing towards my goal.

I am happy to say that I started on #2 in December and have been looking forward to today as the official start of my new obsessive-compulsive, miserly ways. With apologies to Paulson and ZimbabweBen, the Devers Family will not be adding much liquidity to the market in 2009.

Which brings us to number three. I originally had it as "Write more fiction", but I think the simple "Write more" is better.

2008 was a good new beginning with writing for me. I started and finished an 8,000+ word short story and built a detailed outline for my current WIP. On that, I breezed through the first fifty pages before hitting a major roadblock. A conversation between two people had to take place and I didn't know how to get into it or how the protagonist could possibly defend his position. The cursor sat on the same spot on the screen for five months until I read Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. Through the book Ms. Lamott gave me permission to write a really shitty first draft and that got me up and running again.

Along with all of the fiction work I also wrote several non-fiction pieces throughout the year for our magazine. I would really like to get a piece published in another magazine (where I'm not also the editor) some time in 2009. That goal may be a tough one with people proclaiming the death of the industry and titles that have been institutions for decades feeling the crunch. Nevertheless, I have some ideas to pitch once I finish my Gourds feature.

Those of you reading this who have experience as writers might feel inclined to say that Resolutions #2 and #3 are mutually exclusive. I'll post my reply to that later, as it's now lunch time and I need to heat up some leftover pizza.

Happy New Year from the One-Eyed Laser Monkey

2008-12-31T17:36:00.001-06:00

Electronic Arts Cheat

2008-12-30T21:05:00.004-06:00

From tonight's family time/diversion:

Santa brought the Family Monopoly on the Wii. A lot of fun with a few minor exceptions (there's no way to turn off the grating soundtrack and even more grating Pennybags character). On the back of the booklet EA bribes you to register the game online with the allure of an exclusive cheat code or hint specifically for the game if you register. Here's a pic:

So I registered online. It was easy. It was fast. It was definitely not worth it. They got my email address and some other info and when I registered the game, I got a big white screen that said "Thanks". Nothing in my account, no link to my "exclusive" content. Nothing.

So while "EA" and "cheat" go together well, I wouldn't waste your time with the online registration.

Now if you'll excuse me, a blank page is once again calling my name.

Current Project

2008-12-30T16:04:00.005-06:00

I present to you a clear view of how things are coming along with the story I am currently working on. They say a picture is worth a thousand words so if you get a thousand from it (or hell, even a hundred would help), please jot them down and send them to me at deverswrites@gmail.com. You could even drop them in the comments.

Thanks for your contribution!

My Movie Pitch

2008-12-18T09:42:00.003-06:00

The time is right. I can feel it in the air. Sometimes ideas are out there floating in the ether, ripe to be plucked by those gifted enough to see them. I harvested this one late last night. A fit of sleeplessness found me watching hours and hours of Nick at Nite until eventually I dozed off. The following came to me in a dream.

Sean Connery is the leader of an elite group of adventurers that find themselves stranded on a mysterious tropical island. Tom Hanks is the brilliant scientist, determined to get them home safely.

The financier of this group, the multi-millionaire (played by Oprah Winfrey) accompanied this journey as a get-away with her gold-digging husband (played by Dave Chappelle). They try their best to enjoy their luxurious lifestyle while the others work hard to get them back home. Major tension possibilities here.

Another member of the crew is a plucky farm girl who provides the street-smarts that Tom Hanks's character lacks. She'll be played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. Also along, for some reason (it did come to me in a dream) is a glamorous movie star. It was Gillian Anderson in my dream so we'll go with that.

But the main character I have saved for last. The audience can't figure out if he's the good guy or a villain (and I'm not going to give it away here!). He ruins all of their escape plans, but then always rallies to save the day in other ways. He's Connery's first officer and the star of the show. Ladies and gentlemen - Adam Sandler.

I think this will be a blockbuster that will make people forget about Titanic AND the Godfather. It's gonna be huge.

As I'm not a multi-millionaire, I plan to finance the movie by winning Mega-Millions. I have to wait for it to get up to around $240 million again as I'll need over $100 million in cash value to make it properly. I can't afford to win it when it's only at $80 million or so. This isn't some low-budget Fox Searchlight film after all!

Of course, if some mogul out there reads this and, once they figure out what I'm all about, they beg to invest in the project, who am I not say no?

I do have a plan B as well. If I haven't won Mega-Millions after a year, I'll start selling advance tickets to the film for $10 each and then use the proceeds from the advance sales to create the film.

I can't wait for that first day when I'm wearing the funny balloon pants that only come down past your knees and I yell "Action" into the megaphone for the first time. I hope someone brings a camera. I'd like a photo of it.

Auto Bailout Simplified

2008-12-15T16:58:00.004-06:00

There's No Crying In Baseball

2008-10-07T14:04:00.002-05:00

But don't tell that to the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles.

After posting the best record in the major leagues for the 2008 campaign, the Angels were dispatched in the ALDS by the Red Sox in four games. Which was actually an improvement for the Angels, having been swept out of the first round in their previous two matchups with the Sox. This fact offered little solace to the Angels.

"I want to throw somebody through a wall", said head Angel crybaby John Lackey after being outpitched by Boston starter Jon Lester for the second time in the series. Between sessions of pouting and throwing things, Lackey offered further analysis. "They score on a broken-bat ground ball and a fly ball anywhere else in America [except in Fenway Park]. And [Pedroia's] fist-pumping on second like he did something great." When reminded that his opponent pitched in the same ballpark and didn't allow any runs Lackey threw himself on the ground and began to kick and scream that it wasn't fair.

Veteran crybaby Garrett Anderson had little to say after the game, but replays clearly show that he did not take a called strike throughout the entire series that was legitimate. Several NBA players were quoted as saying they were taking notes from Anderson on how to react to fouls called against them for the upcoming season.

Later, Lackey volunteered more opinions. "We are way better than they are. We lost to a team not as good as us." Actual statistical analysis of the two teams' 2008 seasons paints a different picture. As does the result of the series. Despite this, last reports had John Lackey's mom calling commissioner Bud Selig and demanding a "do-over".

We'll keep you posted.

$2500 worth of equipment

2008-10-03T15:57:00.002-05:00

So the bailout passed. My share of the bill is $2500. I plan on visiting a local branch of one of the Wall Street firms and collecting $2500 worth of equipment. It's only fair as I paid for it. Please join me in visiting a branch yourself and collecting what you have paid for and what is rightfully yours.

Actually, the more that I think about it, I may get $1250 from a Wall Street firm and $1250 from Lamar Smith, as he voted for the bailout despite the over-whelming objections of his constituents.

Second Chance for the CHB

2008-09-30T12:00:00.003-05:00

Dan Shaughnessy (aka - the Curly Headed Bastard) had a live chat today on the Boston Globe website. I got in too late for them to consider my question, so I'll post it here and maybe he'll stumble upon it and answer in the comments:

"Dan, do you enjoy your reputation as the sports equivalent of Ann Coulter?"

Bring your teaspoon. We're going to the ocean!

2008-09-30T10:31:00.003-05:00

President Bush said today that failure to move on the bailout will "inflict painful and lasting damage". We should all listen to him. After all, if there's ever been an expert on inflicting "painful and lasting damage" to the United States, he's it.

Stephen Merchant Enters Charles Nelson Reilly Phase

2008-06-30T12:05:00.006-05:00

BREAKING NEWS: Stephen Merchant, long time comedy partner of Ricky Gervais, is using the occasion of a new series of The Ricky Gervais Show to begin what he is calling his "Charles Nelson Reilly Phase". The first hints of which can be seen in this photo, being used in advance promotion for Series 4.

According to Mr. Merchant's publicist, as the leaves of summer drift from green to shades of red and gold, so too will Merchant's look drift more towards that of the popular Match Game PM panelist, Reilly. Merchant's hat will slide more to the right (his right, not ours) until it gracefully drops to the ground. The eyeglasses will become larger and more square, and the ascot will become more pronounced. When asked if his gangly height would detract from the look, Merchant mumbled something about Dumb Donald and Brett Somers before ducking into a broom closet.

More details to come.

I have a big "but" problem

2008-06-23T10:00:00.001-05:00

No amount of exercise is going to fix this.

In reading through the previous days work in order to launch into the new material, I found that I had been unable to get through a single paragraph without at least one "but" sentence. The stinkiest weed was one paragraph consisting of three sentences constructed as "here's one point, but here's the counterpoint." Blech!

I recently read a query critique where the agent said something along the lines of "was there a big box of 'so', 'but', and 'however' on sale?". It stings a little to discover I'm less creative than that. At least the query person had some chocolate and strawberry to go along with their vanilla.

I suppose it was a crutch I was unaware I relied on so heavily. Being aware has improved my subsequent writing, and now every "but"-constructed sentence screams out at me from the page as if it were written in red.

I make it a point not to revise the WIP until the first draft is complete, and I'm sticking to it. There may be a yellow legal pad somewhere in my office that has "Revision List" scribbled at the top and "fix yer buts" scrawled below it, but that's not really the same is it?

Dammit! I did it again.

Word of the Weekend

2008-06-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

Quell

They quelled potential lawsuits both outside and inside of the department with an equal amount of skill, but an unequal amount of patience.

1. to suppress; put an end to; extinguish.
2. to vanquish; subdue.
3. to quiet or allay (emotions, anxieties, etc.).

Racking Up Points

2008-06-20T00:06:00.013-05:00

It's been vacation week for the Devers Family. I came back from it a little early, due in large part to the Relentless Pursuit of Futility (see below). As one of the editors, the wife understands and that's what really matters.

Speaking of my bride, here is what I've seen of her all week:

You'll notice a large body of water in the background (locals call it "Gulf of Mexico"). We were in Port Aransas at the beach for the first half of the week. I'm not a beach guy. Or a mountain guy. I grew up in Enid, Oklahoma, so I prefer a nice, flat plain. If wheat blows softly in the wind, all the better.

The bride has been trying to talk me into taking a family vacation to the beach for years and I finally relented. I have to admit (but don't tell her), I liked it. I even made some progress on the WIP. I would not be opposed to going back in a couple of years, if we can stay in the same place. And as long as there's a Vegas trip between the two.

My wife concludes the vacation tomorrow with the little Devers at our local water park, which means she'll be exposed to some serious pockets of humanity. She goes forewarned.

The Relentless Pursuit of Futility

2008-06-19T14:29:00.003-05:00

Didn't we just put out an issue?

Deadlines for the next issue of the magazine loom already. They are flippin' relentless. And when the next issue is complete, we have two sets of even tighter deadlines to close out the year. But why panic about that now, when I can panic about the Aug/Sep issue?

I'm looking forward to the Feb/Mar '09 issue. I feel pretty good about my chances of hitting that deadline. For now.

Word of the Weekend

2008-06-14T19:13:00.006-05:00

Churlish

His churlish behavior made life difficult for the ladies of Human Resources.

Update

2008-06-13T22:52:00.003-05:00

Today happened. Rumor has it that Monday has been scheduled with very little chance of cancellation. Either way, I’m not getting dressed up.

Raising A Reader

2008-06-12T10:11:00.006-05:00

This is my son's favorite place to read a book. When we're not home and he wants to read he searches for a box he can use as a substitute. Might be a little more difficult for him at 30, but I don't judge. As long as he reads.

I did an informal survey of some of the staff here earlier this week. I asked them when was the last time they went to a store and bought a book to read for enjoyment, not for class (a lot of college students work here). Here are the three answers:

1. "Last week. I didn't go to a store, but I ordered two books on line."

2. "January or February. I got some books about the music industry."

3. "Oh my God, never! I hate reading."

Those answers are in descending order by age. I'm a little frightened.

Pick One

2008-06-11T16:18:00.005-05:00

I spent today staring at my computer and my calendar trying to decide which of 100 small fires I should put out first. Not very productive. Late this afternoon I decided to start with the one burning in the closest proximity. After dousing my right arm in water I moved on to fire #2.

I've been working on the railroad...

2008-06-09T17:04:00.008-05:00

We're already making great progress on the next issue of the magazine, and on Wednesday a meeting is scheduled to check progress and compare notes on our special year-end issue. There's one issue between those two, but I'm sure that one will print itself.

Last week I had the opportunity to interview Heather Morgan. She grew up in Texas and did the singer-songwriter thing here before moving to Nashville to pursue songwriting full time. She's in the last year of a multi-year deal with Warner-Chappell and has hit her groove, starting to score lots of cuts.

The plan is to format the story in Q&A style and try to capture the good side of Nashville. Folks here in Texas are fond of running down the Nashville machine (and vice-versa, to be honest). I look forward to exposing the good side of Music City.

The fact that the interview serves a dual purpose - interview for the magazine and research for the WIP - is pure gravy.

A Good Day

2008-06-07T07:41:00.011-05:00

I felt very "writeresque" yesterday. I received more positive comments than I could have expected from my first CP along with two good suggestions. I skimped on the character description, and she noticed. She also caught a ham-handed line that was easily corrected.

I started back to work on my WIP yesterday and had the best day that I've had in a while on that. The story has picked up some steam and I'm anxious to get each new scene rolling.

Before starting on my WIP, I spent a good deal of time on the outline, character arcs, timelines, and miscellaneous notes. Since finishing the first handful of pages, I've rarely had to go back and reference any of that again. The process of organizing all of the information on paper seems to have had the side benefit of organizing it all in my head as well. All the same, I'm glad there's a paper copy. The data storage facility inside my skull has an erratic track record.

Revision Complete

2008-06-06T09:21:00.004-05:00

The first revision of my short story is complete and in the hands of my primary CP. It took a little longer than I would have thought for less than 8,000 words.

I was amazed at the big stuff (two paragraphs condensed into one and re-written in a way that conveyed more information) and the little stuff (several spots where I "thought" a word, but forgot to type it).

It was a nice break away from the WIP novel. As soon as I handed the revised draft off, the characters from the WIP started shouting their ideas at me. Some of them were helpful, but one character is not happy at all with the way she's being portrayed. I'll be sure to include what a whiny baby she is in an upcoming chapter. She'll dig that.

More Revision Day

2008-06-04T23:42:00.004-05:00

I'm still working on the second pass through. One section required triage. It was upgraded from revision to re-write. I wanted to reinforce the theme that emerged from the story.

The revised product won't be ready for my critique peoples as soon as I wanted, but that's okay if I'm handing them a stronger story to begin with. Right? Anyone?

Fine. Time to go to my happy place.

Revision Day!

2008-06-03T23:40:00.004-05:00

For the most part, I read and follow instructions. So when Professor King told me to put my finished story in a drawer, set a reminder for six weeks, and not think about it again; I did as instructed.

Yesterday my timer dinged on the short story I finished six weeks ago. I started my revisions last night. I did one read through for general purposes ("why did I use that word?", "that sentence is a word salad", "a whole paragraph of pronouns - yuck!", etc.) and then I started a read through with the intent of removing each and every word that wasn't absolutely vital. I hope to finish that tonight.

My next read through will be to look for five little words that sprout like dandelions in my writing. I'm going to mow those pernicious parasites down. (Maybe I should look for clumsy alliterations after that. Nah, not necessarily needed)

How to publish a magazine

2008-06-02T15:50:00.004-05:00

#1. Acquire an existing publication.

#2. Put out the next issue.

#3. Learn from your many, many mistakes.

#4. Have something of little value close by to destroy when #3 happens.

#5. Go back to #2 and repeat.

Monthly words

2008-06-02T12:51:00.005-05:00

9,000 words in my first month of work on the novel WIP. Ugh. I need to pick up the pace. I'm sure I'll write much faster now that summer is here. Something else that would help is if TNT would cut down on the Law & Order marathons. Damn Briscoe & Green (and Logan and Fontana and Lupo). Not Curtis so much though. I can skip those episodes.

Words

2008-05-28T23:54:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since I updated the words-a-day tracking. 11 days ago was my last update and in that time I've managed 2,938 words. That's 267 a day. Disappointingly low, but still an improvement. Which is a disappointment in and of itself. And around and round we go!

Put to Bed

2008-05-27T10:56:00.003-05:00

All of my assignments are turned in, the headlines are written, and the "pretty" has been added. The next issue of the magazine has been put to bed and tucked in.

Here is a low-res of the cover (the thin boxes around the text won't be visible in the high-res file).

Hello, you

2008-05-26T00:53:00.006-05:00

A wonderful character popped into my head last night as I was showering and insisted on some "page time" in the WIP novel. When I told him that he'd come to a ghastly end during the last few chapters, he said he didn't mind as long as he had a few nice scenes along the way. His intro scene, description, and farewell scene are already written. It was so productive I've decided to shower every day!

My favorite "hello, you" scene.

Insight

2008-05-26T00:35:00.004-05:00

I am a good writer.

I am a lousy hack.

I believe both of these statements to be true and not mutually exclusive.

Working on the Craft: Jon Lester Throws a No-Hitter

2008-05-19T21:03:00.034-05:00

"It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready."

~ The Old Man and the Sea
~ Ernest Hemingway

The crossroads of exactness and luck were found at the corner of Van Ness and Yawkey Way this evening as Jon Lester became the first left-handed pitcher to throw a no-hitter for the Boston Red Sox in over half a century.

To throw a no-hitter involves a healthy dose of luck, as they are usually accompanied by at least one tremendous play on defense. This evening's highlight reel play was provided early in the game as center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury made a diving catch of a line drive by Jose Guillen of the Kansas City Royals. But stunning defensive plays are turned in regularly across a night's schedule of major league games while a no-hitter tends to be an annual event at best. So while a no-hitter may contain a dose of luck, the remainder of the recipe calls for exactness.

Jon Lester, cancer survivor (and pitcher)

Jon Lester was drafted in the second round of the 2002 MLB draft by the Boston Red Sox. He progressed through the Red Sox minor league system in impressive fashion and made his major league debut in 2006 on June 10th in a start against the Texas Rangers. He struggled, throwing 102 pitches and not making it out of the fifth inning, and the Red Sox lost the game. He then reeled off five wins in a row, culminating in an 8 inning, 1 hit gem against the Kansas City Royals.

As the season wore on he began to feel discomfort in his back, originally attributing it to the grind of baseball's grueling season. After being rear-ended on his way to Fenway Park on August 18th, Lester's back became even more problematic. He made his last start of 2006 on August 24th and on the following weekend visited his doctor in Seattle where, at the age of 22, he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Baseball took a back seat to survival for close to a year as the pitcher went through several rounds of chemotherapy before being declared cancer-free and then began a tedious rehab program to rebuild his strength. He returned to action in a start against the Cleveland Indians on July 23rd of 2007 (earning a win), but wouldn't see a regular spot in the Red Sox rotation until September. As the Red Sox progressed in the playoffs last season, Lester would make key contributions, appearing in relief in the AL Championship Series against the Indians and starting and winning the clinching game 4 of the World Series against the Colorado Rockies.

Jon Lester, pitcher (and cancer survivor)

In preparing for the 2008 season, with cancer and rebuilding from it behind him, Lester was able to focus on the craft with Red Sox pitching coach John Farrell. A key phrase in Lester's early career was "pitch efficiency". He would often find himself unable to make it through the sixth inning of a start as in the course of his attack of the hitters, too many of his bullets found their way outside of the strike zone.

Another aspect that Lester and Farrell (and catcher Jason Varitek) would examine was his pace. They felt Lester was delaying too much between pitches and that by quickening the pace, hitters would be more on their heels and the defense behind him sharper.

Lester also found himself during the off-season to be the center of trade speculation concerning a proposed deal between the Red Sox and the Minnesota Twins for pitcher Johan Santana. ESPN Magazine quoted an anonymous AL scout as saying "Jon Lester is a back-of-the-rotation guy. If he was the difference between getting Johna Santana or not, they made a mistake."

Jon Lester ignored the speculation and focused instead on his craft - increasing his velocity and command back to his pre-cancer levels and incorporating the advice from John Farrell.

Signs of Lester's focus and effort would be seen in his April 29th start against Toronto. Working at a quickened pace and firing first-pitch strikes to 15 of 27 batters, Lester threw 8 innings allowing only 1 hit.

On May 19th against the Kansas City Royals, Jon Lester would put all the pieces together and earn an honored spot in the Major League record books. Again working quickly and throwing a mix of electric fastballs and curveballs, Lester hurled first-pitch stikes to 20 of 29 batters and allowed only two base-runners the entire night, both on walks. After the final out and with the no-hitter secured, his teammates mobbed him on the field in celebration.

Jon Lester overcame tremendous obstacles to get back on the field, but once he returned he did not allow what happened to him to define him. He went to work on his craft, improving both the basics and the subtleties, working hard to be exact. And when luck turned in Jon Lester's favor, he was ready.

May 15th

2008-05-15T23:59:00.002-05:00

456 words on the WIP novel.

I've seen some debate on other writers's blogs about "word meters". I post my manual version of the same here for myself more than anything else. It's a great motivational tool as the thought of posting a 0 is painful.

An alternative to the classic

2008-05-15T14:06:00.002-05:00

I ran across this quote from Errol Morris. I prefer it to the original.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it without a sense of ironic futility."

May 14th

2008-05-15T00:08:00.006-05:00

430 words on the WIP novel.

I finally turned in my review. Since there's no danger of anyone reading it, I present it here in it's entirety. Feel free to comment.

Reckless Kelly
Bulletproof

I hate to start negative here, but I have a BIG complaint about Reckless Kelly’s debut disc for Yep Roc Records, Bulletproof. Where’s the rockin’ country cover of Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”? How did the entire Reckless Kelly team whiff on this fat pitch right down the middle of the plate? The album artwork, the success of Iron Man in theaters, the title of the CD – c’mon it’s a natural! And the marketing tie-ins would be legion.

All right, marketing possibilities are probably not a concern for this group of Texans (some by way of Idaho) when it comes to deciding which songs make the cut and which songs don’t. The truth is there are no covers of any kind on this record. Every tune was written by vocalist Willy Braun with a few assists from Robert Earl Keen, Dustin Welch, and brother Micky Braun.

Turning my attention to the songs that do appear on the disc – I can think of no better compliment than to say it’s a Reckless Kelly record. One of the qualities that has set this quintet apart over the years is their remarkable consistency. Reckless Kelly delivers a dynamic live show and – unlike many others – they have no problem capturing the same vibe and raw energy on their studio efforts.

I’ve heard my share (and yours too – trust me) of bands singing about life on the road. With a studio record titled Wicked, Twisted Road, this is hardly new ground for Reckless Kelly either. Yet somehow the band brought a fresh approach and sound to “Ragged As The Road”, the track that kicks off Bulletproof and one of the standout songs on the disc. Other highlights on the record include “You Don’t Have To Stay Forever”, “One False Move”, and “Don’t Say Goodbye”.

A personal favorite on the CD is “How Was California?”. The singer asks a friend how their trip to California (and Austin and New York City) went, though he already knows the answer. No matter how exciting the destination, when the company you can’t escape – yourself – is miserable, the outcome is predetermined.

“American Blood”, Willy Braun’s attempt at his own melodic Jerilderie Letter (a protest letter penned by the band’s namesake), is already receiving attention. The song takes the viewpoint of one soldier’s journey through Iraq, and questions – legitimately, in this reviewer’s opinion – the sacrifice of the many for the profits of the few. Willy has already written a disclaimer that appears on the band’s website. Unfortunate that he feels it’s necessary, but such are the times in which we live. With a brother who has been through two tours in Afghanistan and three tours in Iraq and no guarantees he won’t be back for more, I can appreciate the song on a couple of levels – one for the message, but also because it’s a great tune. If it were a throwaway I doubt it would be generating as much interest, but as it stands, this is a song that you’ll hear more than once on the radio this summer.

The one misfire on the record is “God Forsaken Town”, an acoustic ode to New Orleans and the victims of Hurricane Katrina. While the band saved themselves from cliché on the aforementioned “Ragged As The Road” they fell short of the mark on this one, despite the excellent work of Ephraim Owens on trumpet.

Longtime record executive Bill Straw once told me that solo artists come and go every day, but when you find a great band, then you really have something. Experience has shown me the truth of this statement. When the right group of musicians comes together, something magical happens – a whole emerges far greater than the sum of the individual parts. Bulletproof captures just that. The disc documents a great band still on an upward swing. As far as that “Iron Man” cover goes – I can wait for the next live album.

Character Voice

2008-05-14T00:05:00.006-05:00

0 words today on my WIP novel. There was a Law & Order marathon on TNT (please tell me you saw that one coming).

The truth is my next paragraph in the book introduces a major supporting character. I had a good idea of her voice, but I spent a lot of my writing time today refining it. Now I can hear her in my head as clear as a bell. All of her habits and mannerisms are well-defined. I'm sure as we progress through the book she'll let me know where I didn't get it quite right, but the foundation is solid.

I do this because it annoys me to no end to read a book where everyone speaks with the same voice. I do not want to create a world where everyone says "to-may-to" and no one says "to-mah-to".

I also finally figured out the hook to get into the CD review that remains overdue at the day job. It should be finished before noon tomorrow. Only two days late. Or three. Who's counting?

May 12th

2008-05-12T23:19:00.004-05:00

236 words today on the WIP novel.

Past deadline on the CD review. I've been driving all over the city looking for it with no idea where I'm going. Today I think I found the neighborhood. Tomorrow I hope I can find the driveway and pull it into the house. Otherwise, the day gig might become the previous day gig.

May 11th

2008-05-11T23:21:00.001-05:00

604 words today on the WIP novel.

I may not have made much progress on the WIP last week, but I did get two solid ideas for my next short story.

Life Wins This Round

2008-05-11T14:45:00.004-05:00

This past week saw little progress on my novel WIP. Home life and the day job threw up some substantial obstacles.

On Tuesday, my wife had a tonsillectomy. No big deal for a teenager, but my bride is in her early thirties. As a result I was chosen this week for the roles of dad, mom, and nursemaid. The costume changes were brutal.

On the day job side of the ledger, I had three different assignments due. A 3000 word article, a 750 word article, and a 500 word CD review. I finished the first two and can't find a hook for the third.

Overall, I hate excuses. When you allow even a legitimate one through, then it makes it easier for lesser excuses to get through until you're at the point of saying "I couldn't get any writing done yesterday because there was a Law & Order marathon on TNT."

So though Life won out last week, I didn't make much progress on the novel WIP because I didn't make time for it. I'm not going to beat myself up about it (more), but even 100 words a day would have been something.

May 5th

2008-05-05T23:01:00.002-05:00

480 words today on the WIP novel.

Welcome to Devers Writes

2008-05-05T16:03:00.000-05:00

I hope this blog doesn't suck (see Sturgeon's Law). Anything beyond that is pure gravy.